Quat

Cum "Quat" Constantine Quatro Metatron Simmon III Esquire is one of the main characters of Coupon Kids, and the best friend and roommate and of Pik. They are an orange colored humanoid whose head appears to be some sort of orange-esque fruit, the name of which is a mystery.

Throughout the series they are shown to be somewhat timid, a fact that hides their true nature as the reincarnation of Phobos, Greek God of Fear, a twist which had long been foreshadowed and was finally confirmed at the end of the 17th arc, "Coupon Kids in Space: Uranus or Bust". Aside from Pik, Quat can often be seen in the company of other iconic Coupon Kids characters such as Sunny, Honey, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, the ghost of Cyborg Elvis Presley, and Gargatholon, Sapient Trash Can of the Nth Dimension.

Quat works a day job as a phone sex operator. They themselves are unaware of this, somehow mistakenly believing that they are actually a run of the mill telemarketer selling some sort of crappy protein powder, leading to frequent conflict with their supervisor, Mr. Buttsex. The stress of working life has left Quat an anxious shell of a person and they frequently spend their free time huddled in the corner, bemoaning their wretched existence and slavery to capitalism; in events such as these, the only thing that can bring Quat out of their funk is a nice bowl of oatmeal flavored ice cream and a viewing of their favorite movie, The Lion King 1 1/2.

With the help of Pik, Quat was eventually able to gain more confidence and defeat their arch rival, Her Majesty Elizabeth II, the Queen of England, deposing her once and for all and claiming the throne for themself; however, this turned out to be fruitless, as it turned out that all of the United Kingdom was nothing but a nightmarish fever dream illusory world created through the evil powers of the crown, and with Elizabeth's death, the illusion was finally broken, erasing the country from history forever more (and returning the series to status quo, as Pik and Quat became poor commoners once more).

Currently, Quat is on a mission from the United Nations to infiltrate the Keebler Elves Stronghold in an uninhabited corner of New Mexico and obtain their eldritch cookie recipe which threatens to end the world as we know it.